
Starting therapy when you don't know where to start
In brief
If the idea of therapy feels big and vague and slightly terrifying, you're in good company. A gentle guide to taking the first step when you can't quite name what's wrong.
Sometimes people arrive able to name exactly what's wrong. Just as often, they can't — only that something feels off, heavy, stuck. If that's you, I want you to know: you don't need the right words to begin. 'I'm not sure, I just don't feel like myself' is a perfectly good place to start.
You don't have to have a reason
There's a quiet myth that therapy is only for crises — that you need a Big Enough Problem to earn a seat. You don't. Feeling low, anxious, numb, or simply worn down is reason enough. So is wanting to understand yourself a little better.
What the first step can look like
It can be as small as sending a two-line message. From there, most therapists — me included — offer a free call so you can get a feel for us before committing to anything. No pressure, no obligation; just a conversation to see if it's a fit.
The hardest part is almost always the reaching out. Once you've done that, you'll usually find the rest is gentler than you feared.
About the author

Nora Bennett, LCSW
Licensed Clinical Social Worker · Portland, OR
Nora is a relational therapist in Portland who works with anxiety, life transitions, grief, and self-worth. She writes here the way she works — warmly, plainly, and without jargon.